Christmas Eve day

Who doesn't want to make a 7 layer bean dip

so their wasting time on the Internet

hoping time will accidentally run out because of such a

"busy day"? ME!!

(SHHHHH..don't tell)

gEttLInG dUmBber

(not the book I have, but the same idea)

Does anyone else feel like they are NOT as smart as they used to be?

Anyone suffering from brain fog, confusion, memory loss?
I AM!!! I decided to get a book to

"Expand Your Memory, Reasoning, Creative Thinking, and More!"

Because Alzheimer's now runs in my family, the

doctors told us that keeping our

minds sharp is key in preventing the disease.

In the beginning of the book you take a quiz to see how sharp your mind is

and I am proud to say i wasn't in the lowest category,

I was in the middle (average is awesome right???)!

The explanation of my score starts out,

"You're no mental slouch, but

there is always room to sharpen your mind!"

HUUUUMMMMMM........

The beginning of the book starts with the easy puzzles

that "everyone should be able to do" and I

must admit I am a little confused,

but at least the answers are in the back :D

(and yes, I do know that won't make me smarter)

Dad's birthday

What a wonderful day it would be if my dad was here to celebrate his birthday. Dad I miss you so much. You were such an amazing example of kindness, love, happiness, service to the Lord and we can't forget sarcasm/sense of humor. There is still a hole in my heart and I don't know if it will ever heal. What a bummer of a year. One thing I have noticed over this year that I think everyone should know is that when someone dies, don't stop talking about or sharing memories them. You might think you are helping ease the pain by not "reminding them of their loss" but really it just makes us feel like you have forgotten them. So, don't forget to share your memories.

Happy Birthday Day!

Santa thought someone was

VERY

good this year!!!

For Sarah

In no particular order...

Ellie's Christmas program

Ashlyn at her last basketball game.

Our Halloween pumpkins,
I don't know if you could find me,
I'm wearing a disguise.

Mom's amazing birthday cake!!!!

Movie night with Aunt Shelley

Ellie entertaining the cat

All comfy with my special homemade smoothies

and popcorn with pillows and blankets.

Now you can't beat that!!

October - last week.

Need I say more????

The good, the not so good, and the ugly; not in that order

THE NOT SO GOOD

I have so many things that I want to blog about, and so many

pictures to post along with it. But I have had no desire.

I have been trying to figure out what's wrong with myself and i have

decided that IT'S NOT ME, it's the doctors fault and menopause just sucks!

I really don't want to look back and think my blog is such a downer,

but this is my journal and i am writing this for myself, I want to remember what I

went through if I am ever blessed with the chance to have a baby and

if one day I actually feel good, I won't take it for granted :o)

My life on a daily basis begins, well that all depends on when or if I fell asleep the night before. When I wake up I go strait to the reclyner to put a heating pad on my back and an ice pack on my head because every day begins with back pain from a degenerative disc disease, and an extreme headache. Then comes the nausea, sometimes home made popcorn for breakfast, lunch and or dinner is the only thing that settles my stomach.

If my fibromyalgia hasn't had a flare up (which is caused by stress,

but i don't know if multiple health problems causes stress). Usually I have a flare up everyday....hum...stress? Somedays I can't use my arms or hands sometims I can't stand because every tender point in my entire body hurts so much.

The headaches, nausea, night sweats, HOT FLASHES (those are serious business!!!!), mood swings (I don't think they have been bad at all, but others disagree), sleeplessness, acne, depression and weight gain are all side effects of that lovely shot, and by lovely I mean horrid. But the worst part is that i don't think it's working!

Olden days...

Sometimes I really wish we lived in the good ol' days.

I have been ordering lots of movies and TV shows from Amazon.

When I was younger I loved to watch Anne of Green Gables,

My Fair Lady, and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

On Amazon I found the movie Christy, but little

did I know that it became an 18 (I think) episode TV show!!

How exciting is that! Oh, I just remembered that I got that at Sam's Club.

it was about $8. I also saw it at Deseret Book but it was $30 something.

(Amazon and Sam's club are great buys!)

Then today I watched one of my all time favorites!

Who doesn't love the Sound of music!

And then there is Little House on the Prairie.

(I own most of them), now that is the "reality TV" that

my kids are going to be watching.

Why don't we get shows like that anymore!

So today I am giving a shout out to all the shows

from the good ol' days.

Need I say more???

Today started out "ok".

I was having lots of pain from my fibromyalgia, but I was still about to move.

Being a little discouraged at the circumstance,

my mom tried to give me a hug, but being touched, even softly was to painful.

I decided to do a few things in the house and put dinner in the crock pot.

After that I was pooped, and hurting even more, so I decided

to take the rest of the day off and relax with

my heating pads and ice packs.

Sounds pretty good right???

Well this afternoon my mom was taking our dining

room chairs outside to be hauled away.

Being the kind and considerate person I am, I decided to help.

We were doing good, 3 chairs outside, but shockingly

someone tripped and great was the fall there of...

Ok, so I admit it was me! The pains I woke up with were increased 10 fold!!!!!!

Did I mention this little trip was down the cement stairs on our back porch!

So, being bruised, scraped, and a little beaten with a bump on my head,

I am sitting in the recliner contemplating the big question;

WILL I BE MOVING AT ALL TOMORROW??

If not, presents would be greatly appreciated :0)

Or will I be stuck in the solitary confinement of my bed!

The suspense is killing me!

AMAZING CONFERENCE WEEKEND!!!

I can't believe that I am going to try and write about the profound effect conference had on me at 11:47 tonight. I am exhausted, but feel I need to write down my feelings while they are fresh. Some of you might think I am a little weird, but I started taking notes during conference when I was in high school and I have been doing it ever since. I do it partly because it seems like I never have a chance to read the Ensign, but also because I pay attention so much better.

As you all know, things have been crazy in my life right now (and just so you all know, I understand that everyone has problems and I don't want anyone to think that I don't realize that) and there were so many points made that humbled and comforted me such as:

• President Uchdorf reminded me that we are not required to "run faster than we have strength", he said we need to go at the optimal speed for our circumstances. This meant so much because I am always saying that I want to be a "normal" person with energy to do whatever I want, but my health problems keep me from doing a lot of that, AND IT IS OK!


• I realized that I really need to reevaluate how strong my faith really is, especially considering the faith to be healed.


• Elder Packer said we don't need to dwell in the past, we need to look to the future. Living in the past will only drag you down!


• President Monson reminded me that I need to have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE! I need to "stop focusing on what I lack and count my blessings!"


• Forgiveness was mentioned in a talk, and I have been very consumed with my own problems lately. I get so down and feel so defeated when I am sick for such long periods of time and I don't get to see friends and relatives. Sometimes I have even been angry and holding grudges because i feel so insignificant when no one calls or comes to visit (and I do know how busy all of you are). But I also learned that it is just as much my fault. How can I expect others to know what I need when I don't ask.


• One of the last things President Monson said, with tears in his eye's is that "WE MUST ALL ENDURE TO THE END"! Really that is what matters most when our eyes are set on having ETERNAL LIFE!
  

I write this blog as a journal for myself and a place to vent my frustrations (as you all know), but I am so glad I have the opportunity to share things that mean so much to me! What a great weekend!!!

PARTY TIME!!!!!

So I'm thinking that it about time for a party. I though all day about this and I think it just might work! So we can set a date later but anyone in reach of this post in invited...were talking huge party! I can feel the excitement growing, it's almost infectious!

I've had a few thoughts. The best punch in the world will be served, all sharing the same cup (sorry about that). Our arms will be tied behind our backs so no one can cover a cough or a sneeze. All noses will be wiped on our sleeves, and I'm afraid I have no soap or hot water in the bathroom or any other place in the house. Dinner will be catered by a Divine Restaurant with a menu beyond your wildest imagination. We will only have five paper plates to share among us so we will be scrubbing them and hanging them out to dry for the next person to use. Maybe all of you aren't into this as much as i am.

I guess I should fill you in for the real reason of a party. This was all completely selfish on my part...be forgiving ;D I want everyone to share in my joy. The joy of wheezing, sneezing, headaches and fevers. Fibromyalgia pain, and all the aches from the flu. Lets not forget the earaches and the coughing, humidifiers and inhaler's, Extra Strength Tylenol Multi-Symptom cough and cold medicine, antibiotics and the occasional pain pill when I hurt so bad I can't lift my arms or move my legs.

So I guess there really won't be a party. It was close though, I really felt like you were getting pumped up to come and share laughter and love (at least for the first paragraph) but I just wanted to share germs :o( I'm so tired of feeling sick a lonely...it's only been about 5 weeks since I've been in bed now...no big deal right? But, I did have the best of intentions, I just wanted to be with my friends, and the doctor doesn't count! We all know the adage "if you can't beat 'em join 'em"? Well, I just got it a little mixed up and thought:

If you can't join 'em, beat 'em (just a little)

:o)

The cryer...the hope

Yes, this is what my day has been like.

The uncontrollable crying of a menopausal 31 year old.

Crying over what you might ask, well your guess us as good as mine.

Today it started at about 4 am when I got a at little kiss from my

slightly psychotic cat(it's been a LONG time since I have any action).

I cried my self back to sleep. Then because of the

side effects of the shot I get all emotional and

think of all the good things I could be doing with my life

if I wasn't sick ALL THE TIME (even though I'm not sure

I know what that would be). I started
to talk to my mom about it (because moms make EVERYTHING better).

I told her I felt like such a loser because 99% of my friends

are married, have careers, have a family and are doing

great things with their lives. What am i doing? I can do activity days

2 times a month, if I am active and participating in life one day,

I am in bed the next because of the fibromyalgia and menopause side effects.

AND THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!!!!

I do confess that some day's during crying spells I do feel sorry for myself, but

when that is all over with I am quick (well if the truth be

told I'm kinda slow) but I always come back to remember,

WITH GOD, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!

(Do you think it is at all possible i am supposed to learn patience,

long suffering, to trust in the Lord or anything else like that).

I know that I am not a stupid person (although I kinda cheated on a standardized

test in 7th grade by just filling in random bubbles and

my parents go a letter that said I belonged in Special Ed)

But I apparently I have something to learn and after 20 years

I still haven't figured it out!!!

Here is another truth filled post

There is a woman I know that is the type of person when you look at her you see more than just a person. You see love, compassion, acceptance for ALL, patience, long suffering and the most Christ like attitude and countenance I have ever seen. Lucky for me she just happens to be one of my very best friends in the entire world. We were college roommates at Ricks and have been bosom buddies ever since. We both went to USU and had the same major which was Family, Consumer and Human Development with and emphasis in Community Service. Amy is a stay at home mom, and has wanted to put her degree to use. She has done that through her amazing new website.

Amy is married to Kyle, who amazing man (the male equivalent of Amy) and they have a beautiful little boy. I don't worship these people at all :0) I just have such a great respect for them. Anyway to the point. Amy's website is full of parenting ideas and tip from all the classes we had to take, her internship, the job she had before she got married, and being a parent herself. So to my follower out there take a look at her website http://www.itsamomderfullife.blogspot.com . It is great and i hope you all check it out!

I got to thinking....

With my big speech on "telling it like it is" I realized that I have been doing it for a while now. So, I don't think there is going to be any new, jump out of your seat revelations on here...well, maybe just a few :D

A what kind of day?

Well, a mental health day of course day. That is what I am taking today. So what does that mean? Multitasking...rest, relaxation, no stress, deep breathing, closing my eyes and pretending I am on a beach in Fiji, nursing a headache so it won't turn into a migraine, and finishing a few tasks for Achievement Day tomorrow. Oh, did I mention that ice cream might come into the mix sometime during this day :o)

Speaking of Achievement Day, I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's the best job in the church!!! I couldn't ask for a better group of girls. I love them all!

One more thing...

I wanted two mention one more thing. There are a few people in my blogging world who I like to think of as "reality writers". They talk about the good, the bad and the ugly, and I love reading their blogs!!! We all know that life isn't always sunshine and roses, there are crap storms now and then, at least for me and two other people I know. It may be more fun to read all about the good things, but I'm all about the whole truth to a certain extent (don't worry family, I'll try not to embarrass you). I found that it is more liberating to write what is on my mind whether it's good or bad. So I hope I never offend anyone with some truthful writing about the dramatic comedy called "MY LIFE".

Love you all :o)

Back to the blog!

What the problem has been.

I've had to take a vacation from blogging. I have been living in my head a little to much lately, and the things in there are scary... As my friends here know I could take at least 2 of the hours of conference to explain my health issues. But, I've been medically put into menopause for 9 months (only 3 shots left :o) )! Just as a reminder for those who may have forgotten I have all the effects of menopause: hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, etc. Plus I have all the effects of the shot: daily headaches, weight gain (even though i have lost 90 lbs), acne, depression, extreme fatigue; and I can't remember the rest. Being the overachiever that i am I have had all of them.

For the last 2 months I have been in bed unable to do anything 90% of the time. All of my amazing plans for summer were all just wiped away as laid down and and became more depressed each day. I am so tired of people knowing me as the sickly one, or never being able to go out and do things because I am not feeling well. All I want is a normal life. I want so badly to be like all of you....

Well I've had enough of that!

Starting tomorrow I'm going to figure out a plan to start digging myself out of the menopause hole I've been thrust into. It will take a while, probably 3 months to get back to normal (when all the shots are done). But, I had and interesting talk tonight and I think it could be faster. I was talking to a good friend and was given several ideas of what I could do to make things get better faster. In fact the ideas are still coming. Don't you love it when the Lord is you best friend.

I believe it was Elder Worthlin who said the magic words:

"Keep Calm and Carry On"!

Read out of the best books.

I sat down and read this book in about 20 minutes.

The first thing that caught my attention was a scripture.

"Therefore treasure up these words in thy heart. Be faithful

and diligent in keeping the commandments of God. And

I will encircle thee in the arms of My love"~D&C 6:10

Then he goes on to say that the two things that will give us the

greatest happiness is to create and have compassion.

What an amazing book!!!!

Vacation...not cool.

I decided that because I have been sick my entire mental health vacation I have earned the right to have an entire new one! Although I did have a migraine today I am hoping to start my vacation over tomorrow, but we will have to see. I can't start until I have a great physical/mental day!!! That day will come soon, I just know it! Then I will start partying it up like there is no tomorrow. I think I'll start by dragging main in Rexburg...yeah, I'd better start with the most dangerous! :D Maybe i'll even stuff my bra, put on bright red lipstick and stop to hang out with Madison people, the Sugar City rival! Now I know I am getting into dangerous teritory. Aw ha ha ha (evil laugh). I'd better stop before I get to excited about being a rebel and my migrain comes back... :o)

3rd Day of Vacation

Well what do you know, day 3 of vacation and I still have a migraine. I'm going to breakdown and take the precious $500 shot...................................35 minutes later..................migraine gone!!!! Now I just have to deal with the fibromyalgia pain. But, I'm watching Anne of Avonlea and crocheting. Accomplishing 2 things on my list!!!! Maybe there's hope after all!

Happy 24th of July

I LOVE the Pioneers!!!

Vacation Day's 1 & 2

I had such grand ideas of how I would start my vacation. Star gazing at night and searching for the perfect spot for pictures during the day. But, as in most of my adventures in life, things haven't started out as planned. Yesterday I found myself laying in the dark, not looking at stars, but nursing a migraine. And today there will be no picture seeking adventures as for the fact that I have the flu :D

HAPPY VACATION EVERYONE!!!!

"Taking a vacation from my problems" - from What About Bob

As of right now I am taking a mental vacation from my life. I am way too stressed out and I am not enjoying life at all. I'm not sure what's going on to make my life so unfulfilling right now. I know the quote, I think from an apostle, that says when you are having a hard time forget yourself and go to work...meaning, start serving other. I took this really seriously after my dad passed away. I was engulfed in grief and I hated it so I started doing things little things for others. Then I didn't think it was working so I tried so much harder to always be giving service, some service could be seen, most could not.

This is where my natural man comes out and if you want to think I'm scum...ok. But, be honest, am I the only one that feels like I give and give and give and "feel" like I get nothing in return...except more health problems, which causes more stress, which causes more unhappiness and the cycle continues.

Maybe the doctor is right and I should just "up the Prozac." But to me that doesn't really seem like the answer. That is why I am taking a mental health vacation. I want to spend time doing the things that I want to do like:
*taking pictures
*sewing
*reading
*doing crafts
*watching the Anne of Green Gables series

I'm tired of stressing and I'm taking a break!

Rodeo

THESE ARE MY TWO

RODEO QUEENS!

My mom and I left for Rigby at 7:30 to make sure we made it

there promptly at 8 for the pole bending action to begin.

Little did we know, the schedule changed and

we got to watch an rousing 2 hours of team roping first.

Garth, Annie and little Nolan joined us later

and we all had a great time!

Most of my pictures didn't download so all of my

action shot will go unseen. But this is the girls and

Jeff waiting for their next event.
Cambria and Hailey also participate in calf roping,

barrel racing, goat tying and I think there might be

a few more.
I am so proud of the girls! They have worked so hard and
their progress is really showing!!! There is one more
rodeo in two weeks and I can't wait to do it all over again.
BUT, I think next time I will try sunscreen...ouch!!!!!!!

friends...

Here's a big ol' shout out to my friend Mary. You made me feel like a million bucks! I LOVE my PERFECT flowers!!!

it IS the little things

I keep wondering to myself if I am the only person over the age of 10 who doesn't get this concept yet. It is the little things that matter. In case anyone else is having trouble with this the answer is prayer and scripture study. When life gets harder than I think I can handle, that is not the time to "forget" prayer and scripture study, it is the time to dive into to it full force!!!! Get yourself into a habit so your at a place where you just do it, and don't have to think about. That is where I am trying to get! In all honesty, I think more people know what I'm talking about than would rather admit it.

Prayer and scripture study, how simple is that. But, I'm sure I'll need to remind myself of that during my next stressful day.

Spa Day!!!

I think I have the best calling in the church. I am the Achievement day leader for the 10 & 11 year old girls. The girls I have are so completely opposite in every way, but they mesh so well when they are together. The beginning was a little hard so I decided we needed to have a little talk. At our next activity we gathered around the table and I asked the question "Who is the most popular person in the room?" All of the girls looked at me like I was crazy and didn't say a word. My response was "I am!" Then I started to name each of them also. I told them that achievement day was equal playing field, no one was popular or unpopular, no one was better than anyone else we were all children of God and that meant we were equal. I also said that if anything mean was "accidentally" said I would hurry and say equals and the offender would promptly apologize, and it actually worked!!

The lesson I had chosen to give was on having good hygiene. Because they are coming to that dreadful age of puberty i thought this would be important, but I didn't want it to be a "take a shower everyday and use your deodorant cause your startin' to stink girls!" I wanted it to be fun. I started by talking about all the hygiene stuff, and then moved to how it's really your inner beauty that makes your outer beauty shine. Then I gave the girls a cute bag with deodorant, chap stick, body spray, face wash, lotion, mouth wash and I think something else, but they were so excited to have all of the fun stuff in their gift bags.

For the activity part I called it a Mother/Daughter Spa Day, so the moms were there for the whole day. We had a station for painting toenails and fingernails. Mom's painted the daughters and then the daughters painted the mothers (I only saw a few mom's redoing nails while the daughters weren't looking.) A pool with warm water and citrus fruit cut up inside it (we cut up lemons, limes and oranges to make the water fun, and the smell with them in the warm water for so long was AWESOME!!) We also had a station for a facial table where the girls could put on blue mud masks and they LOVED that.

At the end of the activity we had hand and foot shaped sugar cookies with flesh colored frosting and small jelly belly's to put on for the colored fingernails and toenails. It was a huge stress getting it set up and everything bought and made, but so worth it to see the girls and their mom's together and having fun.

The Remodel

I realized that most of the pictures I have taken of the remodel have been on my phone and not on my camera, but this is what I've got. We replaced all the leaking roof, insulation, shingles, windows and doors. This is the front window being replaced and oddly enough, when it was taken out there was flood mud in it.

After the windows and doors they started the siding. Look at the horrible paint above and the beautiful siding below.

The siding is almost done and then we are tearing out the driveway, sidewalk and stairs. Then I think all we have left is the painting the doors and the garage. It is so nice to get all the problems with our house taken care of.

Fathers Day

I think all of the firsts this year are just going to be dang tough! I was really dreading fathers day. I was being really jealous of every who got to celebrate with their dads and I was trying not to be sad and just deal with it, but my anti-sadness turned into slight anger and of course being so hormonal that just made me start to cry. Then Diana called with the perfect idea. She invited us to meet he family at the cemetery and we all gathered around my dads grave and ate chocolate chip cookies and shared our favorite memories. We had a great time. Lots of fun memories were shared. But, I think the best part was when Sam and his friend saw all of the flowers from memorial day down by the dumpster. Well, Sam went down and got a HUGE armload of flowers to decorate the grave with. He brought back all kinds of plastic flowers, a plastic sign that said "DAD" and as soon as the grave was covered he went down for another arm load. But, Diana kindly told he that that was plenty. Sam is such a tender hearted kid. What a sweet act of kindness for an 8 year old.

Memorial Day

Memorial day was a pretty good day. It was fun to get together as a family and enjoy the memories of my dad. It was great to see how many people love my dad and shared some experiences they had with them. I had more experience than everyone else because I think I went to the cemetery about 10 times that day...call me obsessed, it's true! And I think all my pictures are just the same, maybe I changed where I was standing a few steps :D

My favorite memory is still when we had family prayer
at night and towards the last year he was really struggling with names.

On many occasions we would hug and I would tell him how much

I loved him and then he would say to me, as sincere as he could be,

"I love you Shirley"

Back to blogging...

I have been in a very weird place for the last two months. I have been going through heartache, self-doubt, menopause hormonal crappy stuff, physical pain, severe side effects from menopause crappy stuff, stress, crying myself to sleep every night....the list continues. But, I'm gettin' a little better and I have a lot to blog about. THIS IS NOT TURNING INTO A DEPRESSING BLOG, JUST SO YOU KNOW! But, I do have things to share, like I am typing this on my BRAND NEW LAPTOP!!!!! And crazy mother nature, my wildflowers came back this year, but only the orange and blue ones, last year I had every color. Good things are too come! 2 posts down, lots to go!!!

Uncle Dennis

This is my Uncle Dennis. My mom's brother. A TRULY GREAT MAN.

When my dad passed away, he was a great comfort to my mom. I was so

grateful for his love and support during the first few months.

On May 8th we got a phone call from his son Derek saying

he woke up with horrible stomach pain and was in the hospital.

They found he was bleeding internally and no matter how much

blood they gave him, they just couldn't keep up. He passed away later

that evening. 5 months to the day my dad passed away.

We were able to make it to Colorado to the funeral and it was a great tribute!

My uncle also served in the military so he had a military burial.

this was amazing to witness. The folding and presenting of the flag,

the gun salute, hearing taps played, I am so grateful

for the way we honor our soldiers!

Uncle Dennis, your presence will be deeply missed!!

Motivation

*For the facebookers looking for my BIG CHANGE scroll down a few posts.*

I don't know about the rest of you, but motivation has always been an issue for me. I decided to do something about it. Knowing my love of books I decided to find my answer on amazon. And find it I did. This beauty right here has all the answers, and like it says right on the front it will "Change Your Life Forever"

Well, I got this 2 years ago for Christmas and still haven't read it yet...I'm sensing a problem

My first menopausal incident....

Chocolate REALLY helps!

(Feel free to send some or LOTS)

I was in Wal-Mart and in a huge hurry trying to get some material for my achievement day activity which was in 2 hours and I was WAY behind. Well the fabric lady was on her lunch break so I waited 35 minutes for them to find someone to cut the stupid fabric! Well I was getting angry and starting to cry so I walked around the counter, laid out the fabric, got the scissors and was ready to cut my own fabric! With scissors in hand someone came up behind me and said can I help you (in a mean and irritated voice). I said "well, it's about time someone did I been waiting for 35 minutes!" Then I started to cry (I don't like these hormones)!

So, I would like to apologize to Brittany, and say I'm sorry you were the first victim of a hormonal incident. But the doctor said the first week is going to be the worst and then my body will adjust to all the changes and things will get better...I sure hope he is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or, heaven help us all for the next 9 months...

The new me...

So does everyone like my new look? Ok, so it doesn't REALLY look like me, but it matches my situation! I went to the doctor today thinking I was going to be scheduling surgery. I have a great doctor and he told me about other options I could choose. We decided to go with a shot, no big deal right? Well, this is a magic shot. Today my doctor put my body into menopause! Yes, I did say menopause (now does the picture make sense). But hey, what's 9 months of hot flashes and mood swings with night sweats to top it off. The doctor and my mom thought it would be a good idea to put me up in a hotel for a week because apparently the first 7 days people don't adjust well to the hormonal changes. But, if any of you see me and I have a look of rage on my face you might want to stay away...that was fair warning to all!! :o)

seeing through rose colored eye's????

Ya know, the eyes you get when you have cried/sobbed all day long. They hurt and burn and are swollen with a lovely tint of red. Yep, that's what I have. It looks like I will be having surgery next week...

Yup that about sums it all up!

Let's be honest...I need to VENT!!!!

The last few weeks have been a real bummer for me. I try to do my best to hide what is really going on but sometimes keeping up that act is too hard. I am facing several health problems, but one I hoped I would never have to deal with again...since I was 15 I mean. To all my fellow women and sufferers of what (for the time being) I deem the "curse," only because for me it last 15-20 days and the cramps are so bad I can't get out of bed. Then I have a 2 week break and then it begins again. It's been REALLY bad for the last 3 years but OUT OF CONTROL for about 6 months. All the cancer tests are negative...HURRAY!!!! I am on some birth control but because of my blood clots I have to take blood thinners at the same time, which STINKS! I am going through several treatments now and if in two weeks I am not doing considerably better it will be an exploratory surgery which could end up in a hysterectomy...which in all honesty I would rather die than have that happen. There is nothing I want more in life than to be a mom. Like my mom. I look at all my friends with their families and there is a definite ache inside my heart. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them and their beautiful families, I JUST WANT TO BE A MOM!!!! I am only 31 and I feel like my time is running out. Why does LDS society (not the church, just some of the members) make single women feel that their "time is running out" or that I am already "an old maid." But, thanks to all of my friends and cousins (who I consider more than friends, and you know who you are) for always inviting the single gal to the movies even if it is a "date night" or at least I think it might have been. You are all amazing. Thanks for letting me vent! And to those who don't like what I wrote, sorry, but I feel better.

Scriptures 4 kids...

Thanks to my friend Bridgette I found a website called Scriptures 4 Kids. It is a fun site with activities, coloring pages, fhe ideas and lots of other ideas. Take a look, I think you would all love it. I just got my lesson idea for my Achievement day girls for next Friday. I choose the General Authority flash cards. Pictures on the front and facts on the back! I am so excited for that now. I have been struggling for a lesson idea and this is just perfect. This is the first page in the little packet. The website is scriptures4kidz.com

Too funny...

Who could take such a great picture of me and turn it into

such a catastrophe. Just kidding, I gave them permission.

Isn't this hilarious!

At my nieces birthday party Casey was taking

pictures and turning them into

things

like

this.

So, it's looking like life could be worse! :o)

Who knew?