Motivation

*For the facebookers looking for my BIG CHANGE scroll down a few posts.*

I don't know about the rest of you, but motivation has always been an issue for me. I decided to do something about it. Knowing my love of books I decided to find my answer on amazon. And find it I did. This beauty right here has all the answers, and like it says right on the front it will "Change Your Life Forever"

Well, I got this 2 years ago for Christmas and still haven't read it yet...I'm sensing a problem

My first menopausal incident....

Chocolate REALLY helps!

(Feel free to send some or LOTS)

I was in Wal-Mart and in a huge hurry trying to get some material for my achievement day activity which was in 2 hours and I was WAY behind. Well the fabric lady was on her lunch break so I waited 35 minutes for them to find someone to cut the stupid fabric! Well I was getting angry and starting to cry so I walked around the counter, laid out the fabric, got the scissors and was ready to cut my own fabric! With scissors in hand someone came up behind me and said can I help you (in a mean and irritated voice). I said "well, it's about time someone did I been waiting for 35 minutes!" Then I started to cry (I don't like these hormones)!

So, I would like to apologize to Brittany, and say I'm sorry you were the first victim of a hormonal incident. But the doctor said the first week is going to be the worst and then my body will adjust to all the changes and things will get better...I sure hope he is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or, heaven help us all for the next 9 months...

The new me...

So does everyone like my new look? Ok, so it doesn't REALLY look like me, but it matches my situation! I went to the doctor today thinking I was going to be scheduling surgery. I have a great doctor and he told me about other options I could choose. We decided to go with a shot, no big deal right? Well, this is a magic shot. Today my doctor put my body into menopause! Yes, I did say menopause (now does the picture make sense). But hey, what's 9 months of hot flashes and mood swings with night sweats to top it off. The doctor and my mom thought it would be a good idea to put me up in a hotel for a week because apparently the first 7 days people don't adjust well to the hormonal changes. But, if any of you see me and I have a look of rage on my face you might want to stay away...that was fair warning to all!! :o)

seeing through rose colored eye's????

Ya know, the eyes you get when you have cried/sobbed all day long. They hurt and burn and are swollen with a lovely tint of red. Yep, that's what I have. It looks like I will be having surgery next week...

Yup that about sums it all up!

Let's be honest...I need to VENT!!!!

The last few weeks have been a real bummer for me. I try to do my best to hide what is really going on but sometimes keeping up that act is too hard. I am facing several health problems, but one I hoped I would never have to deal with again...since I was 15 I mean. To all my fellow women and sufferers of what (for the time being) I deem the "curse," only because for me it last 15-20 days and the cramps are so bad I can't get out of bed. Then I have a 2 week break and then it begins again. It's been REALLY bad for the last 3 years but OUT OF CONTROL for about 6 months. All the cancer tests are negative...HURRAY!!!! I am on some birth control but because of my blood clots I have to take blood thinners at the same time, which STINKS! I am going through several treatments now and if in two weeks I am not doing considerably better it will be an exploratory surgery which could end up in a hysterectomy...which in all honesty I would rather die than have that happen. There is nothing I want more in life than to be a mom. Like my mom. I look at all my friends with their families and there is a definite ache inside my heart. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them and their beautiful families, I JUST WANT TO BE A MOM!!!! I am only 31 and I feel like my time is running out. Why does LDS society (not the church, just some of the members) make single women feel that their "time is running out" or that I am already "an old maid." But, thanks to all of my friends and cousins (who I consider more than friends, and you know who you are) for always inviting the single gal to the movies even if it is a "date night" or at least I think it might have been. You are all amazing. Thanks for letting me vent! And to those who don't like what I wrote, sorry, but I feel better.

Scriptures 4 kids...

Thanks to my friend Bridgette I found a website called Scriptures 4 Kids. It is a fun site with activities, coloring pages, fhe ideas and lots of other ideas. Take a look, I think you would all love it. I just got my lesson idea for my Achievement day girls for next Friday. I choose the General Authority flash cards. Pictures on the front and facts on the back! I am so excited for that now. I have been struggling for a lesson idea and this is just perfect. This is the first page in the little packet. The website is scriptures4kidz.com

Too funny...

Who could take such a great picture of me and turn it into

such a catastrophe. Just kidding, I gave them permission.

Isn't this hilarious!

At my nieces birthday party Casey was taking

pictures and turning them into

things

like

this.

So, it's looking like life could be worse! :o)

Who knew?

WOOHOO!!!!!

I am so excited! As of today I weigh less than I have in 8 years!!!!!! Can you believe it! I can barely believe it!! I have lost 81 lbs! Even though it has been SOOO hard, it has been SO worth it. I don't know if anyone can understand how hard it is unless you have had your own "addiction" or bad habit you have tried for years to change. Putting it that way, more of you can probably understand than I first thought. I think we all have our own vices, unfortunately mine was just more apparent to the public and easier for so many to pass judgement on.

So, here's a big THANK YOU to all of my friends and relatives who have accepted me for who I am on the inside. For all my innocent, yet embarrassing moments, my sometimes serious side, my quirky sense of humor and my ability to laugh at myself and (mostly) others. THANK YOU for never judging or making fun. To those of you, you are my HERO'S!

My dinner...

Dear Tanner,
Thank you for always looking out for me and always wanting to be the one who dishes out my dinner plate. You keep me right on track...although I think you need to check your 1 cup measurement again! But, on the other hand, maybe I should let you dish up the food for all my meals because I think I might be loosing faster.
Love,
Aunt Shelley


My cute nephew Tanner (13) gets true joy out of fixing my plate for dinner knowing I can't eat much after my surgery. He likes to see how small he can make things.

Notice that this plate is almost the size of the post-it note. And if you are wondering what's on the napkin, it is my dessert. A bite of cake!

Thanks again for looking out for me Tanner!!

Triple D

Yes, that is what I said, and that is what I meant. But, not the way most of you are thinking - get your minds out of the gutter. The triple D that I am talking about is Degenerative Disk Disease (aka Triple D). Yes, that would be the crap storm (according to Reba) I am weathering this week. Reba is smart. I am changing my life's motto to a quote from Reba's show that I have mentioned several times here before. "Sometimes life is just one crap storm after another!"

The doctor knows that I have at least 2 herniated disks and found a few other problems that he won't be able to identify until we do the MRI. I spent all morning in the ER because it was my doctors day off and I hurt so much I could barely breathe! But, I did get to come home!!! I hate staying in that hospital. It's terrible that I am 31 and I am terrified of going there because of how horribly I have been treated. But they gave me some muscle relaxers and pain medicine. Now I can actually walk but I am still very uncomfortable.

Now, it has taken me about 50 minutes to write this so I think it is a sign that I need to go to bed. I hope this is readable!