Shout out to my peeps!

I can't even begin to tell all of you how much your love and support has meant to me in the last few days! To all that called, left sweet messages, traveled here for the funeral and kept me and my family in your thoughts and prayers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! What a blessing it is to know that we have the gospel in our lives and for the opportunity of eternal families. And, what a testimony builder these last three years have been for me of Gods love and compassion. I can't remember the scripture, but it says something about after much trial cometh the blessings, and I am feeling those now.

Returned Home

My sweet, sweet father passed away early this morning. What a comfort to know he is home and what a glorious reunion that must have been! But, he will be DEARLY missed!!!

Enduring to the end...

Last night was one of the most difficult nights of my life. My dad is so sick now, the nurses say he has days to weeks, not weeks to months like we had thought. His pain seems to be intolerable at times and to see him suffer is more difficult than I can put into words. I almost feel like I can say as a parent might that they would do ANYTHING to take the pain away...even take it on themselves. It is interesting to think that your heart can't be broken any further, until you realize that the morning has come and another day is going to begin. What an TRULY AMAZING man my dad is to have chosen to ENDURE TO THE END in this way. And what a humble servant to see him in so much pain and with his mind in the condition it is to still hear him cry out in prayer to his Father and thank him for his blessings.



This morning (meaning since 4am) I have not been able to get my emotions under control and without even realizing it I have been repeating the words of this hymn over and over in my head. Just now I understood what I had been telling myself for hours. Nights have turned out to be my scariest times because it seems like all of the most stressful times here are at night. This is my hymn:

Abide with me! Fast falls the even tide;
The darkness deepens. Lord with me abide!
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless oh, abide with me!

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day.
Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!

Thoughts

This has been a very difficult holiday season for myself and for my family. We got some sad news about my dad a few days before Christmas and it has made it really hard to enjoy much of anything. My focus has been on spending real quality time with my family and enjoying every last minute we have together. I am so grateful for all of my friends who are always giving me such great support on this blog or with phone calls. It is all of you that are making me strong enough to continue. I was looking through my book of quotes and found some of my favorites.


"I rejoice in belonging to such a loving and caring organization [as the Church]. No one knows better how to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. I choose to call it 'enduring together.' What happens to one happens to all. We endure together."May we be an instrument in lightening the burden of others."
"Enduring Together," Ensign, Nov. 2007, 11


"Through tears and trials, through fears and sorrows, through the heartache and loneliness of losing loved ones, there is assurance that life is everlasting. Our Lord and Savior is the living witness that such is so."
"I Know That My Redeemer Lives!" Ensign, May 2007, 25


"At . . . moments of crisis and challenge, some choose to abandon faith just at the time when it most needs to be embraced. Prayer is ignored at the very hour when it needs to be intensified. Virtue is carelessly tossed aside when it needs to be cherished. God is forsaken in the all-too-human yet mistaken fear that He has forsaken us. "The truth is that our only safety, our only security, our only hope is to hold fast to that which is good. As the mists of darkness gather around us, we are only lost if we choose to let go of the iron rod, which is the word of God."
"Faith, Service, Constancy," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 14

I am so appreciative that the Lord saw fit to bless me with an eternal family and for the knowledge of all the truths the gospel brings.

Christmas Cottage

The movie 'Christmas Cottage' is the story of Thomas Kinkade,

the amazing artist.

I have watched it several times and I love it

more each time.

The picture above is the actual painting of his family's cottage.

The movie tells about his life and how he became the

"painter of light".
What a great Christmas movie.

Answers always come...

After everything that has been going on in the last few weeks, I have had such a 'defeated and I can't try anymore' feeling. It's almost like I have just gone numb waiting for the next crisis or tragedy not knowing if my family can handle ANOTHER one. This has been so hard because this is my favorite time of the year and I just want to be able to feel the magic of Christmas. I had all but thought the magic was gone for this year. But, answers always come. Last night the answer came in the form of my cousin Annie and her husband Garth. They brought us a wonderful dinner, helped us get some things in our house put back together, shoveled the snow, brought in wood and then showed us this clip. Which, helped me find a glimmer of that Christmas magic!!

This I know, Answers always come!!

You have got to be kidding me...AGAIN!!!!

So after an almost fire what do you think would be a logical next step in life's progression. Well a flood of course! Yes, I did just say a flood. Not a major flood, but enough to have to pull up carpets, take out part of the ceiling, pull dry wall off the wall and need a new paint job. Will it EVER end!!! Did I mention I am getting a migraine! (Pictures to come, of the flood, not the migraine)

Off to the hospital we go...

I knew that my lungs weren't going to hold out with all the smoke damage, it was just a matter of time! So last Tuesday night, with great efforts from both myself and my doctor to stay out of the hospital, my lungs took a turn for the worse and I could fight it no longer! I realized that I might have a slightly higher chance of surviving in the hospital than at home so, putting previous hospital visits aside - I decided to take the chance. I was so bummed because I had my laptop with me, I was just so sick I didn't even have the energy to blog...Now you know the seriousness of my illness. With lots of steroids, breathing treatments and tons of other medication, I am still alive and breathing relatively well at home!!

While I was in the hospital I was coughing so much that my lap bad became inflamed and swollen so I had to have all of the saline let out. It is really weird to have a "normal" stomach again. I'm thinking I might have to go to Craigo's for a pizza bomb!! But, I will be filled up again in a few weeks and be back to normal (or so to speak).

The best of friends...

My Dad and Zoe have found a new and unique relationship!

Anytime my dad sits somewhere Zoe loves to find him and

give him a little help with that daily hair washing thing.

And this is the end result!

I am so glad we have these cats for my dad.

They truly make life more exciting for him.
And it is obvious how much he loves them!!!

All the excitement...

This was the culprit!

It was really quite a lovely pillow,

but MAN can it put off smoke!

I must admit that this was a first for me.

I have never had a fire truck come to my house before.

Too bad I didn't get any pictures of the FIREMAN!!

But, at that point I wasn't breathing well,

so Mr. Hottie Fireman called the ambulance.

I didn't get a picture of that because,

well, I was in it.

When we got to our hotel we wanted adjoining rooms,

But they didn't have any, so they offered two other nice rooms.

I decided to take

one for the team and stay in the honeymoon suite!

This was in the corner of my bedroom!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

With feeling so sick, I think I used it about 4 times a day!