Enduring to the end...

Last night was one of the most difficult nights of my life. My dad is so sick now, the nurses say he has days to weeks, not weeks to months like we had thought. His pain seems to be intolerable at times and to see him suffer is more difficult than I can put into words. I almost feel like I can say as a parent might that they would do ANYTHING to take the pain away...even take it on themselves. It is interesting to think that your heart can't be broken any further, until you realize that the morning has come and another day is going to begin. What an TRULY AMAZING man my dad is to have chosen to ENDURE TO THE END in this way. And what a humble servant to see him in so much pain and with his mind in the condition it is to still hear him cry out in prayer to his Father and thank him for his blessings.



This morning (meaning since 4am) I have not been able to get my emotions under control and without even realizing it I have been repeating the words of this hymn over and over in my head. Just now I understood what I had been telling myself for hours. Nights have turned out to be my scariest times because it seems like all of the most stressful times here are at night. This is my hymn:

Abide with me! Fast falls the even tide;
The darkness deepens. Lord with me abide!
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless oh, abide with me!

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day.
Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!