The cryer...the hope

Yes, this is what my day has been like.

The uncontrollable crying of a menopausal 31 year old.

Crying over what you might ask, well your guess us as good as mine.

Today it started at about 4 am when I got a at little kiss from my

slightly psychotic cat(it's been a LONG time since I have any action).

I cried my self back to sleep. Then because of the

side effects of the shot I get all emotional and

think of all the good things I could be doing with my life

if I wasn't sick ALL THE TIME (even though I'm not sure

I know what that would be). I started
to talk to my mom about it (because moms make EVERYTHING better).

I told her I felt like such a loser because 99% of my friends

are married, have careers, have a family and are doing

great things with their lives. What am i doing? I can do activity days

2 times a month, if I am active and participating in life one day,

I am in bed the next because of the fibromyalgia and menopause side effects.

AND THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!!!!

I do confess that some day's during crying spells I do feel sorry for myself, but

when that is all over with I am quick (well if the truth be

told I'm kinda slow) but I always come back to remember,

WITH GOD, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!

(Do you think it is at all possible i am supposed to learn patience,

long suffering, to trust in the Lord or anything else like that).

I know that I am not a stupid person (although I kinda cheated on a standardized

test in 7th grade by just filling in random bubbles and

my parents go a letter that said I belonged in Special Ed)

But I apparently I have something to learn and after 20 years

I still haven't figured it out!!!