Friday, April 1, 2011

Bleeding hearts

Bleeding hearts have always been one of my

favorite flowers. I love the color, the shape and popping

them open... Anyway I love them.

I have had a lot of time to sit and think lately.

Because of so much pain I've also done lots of

soul searching. I know this surgery is going to change my life,

but I don't want it to ruin me.

I am a firm believer that, for example,

if you pray for patience, God will give

you a trial to see how well you do. I promise

IT WILL HAPPEN!!!

But I want to embrace this challenge

(now doesn't that just sound like I am asking for something even harder to come?)


I want to be a woman of faith.

A woman who is strong and of good courage.

I have a need to prove myself to others all of the time, but

this is different. I don't want to prove to other people

I'm a survivor, I need to prove it to myself.


I guess we'll see how long this lasts. I'm glad I wrote this down

because the next time I'm in intense pain I may have to look back on

this as a reminder that I'm not giving up :0)

5 comments:

Amy said...

Shelley, just the fact that you're thinking this way shows what a strong person you are! I have been through some trials that I have looked back on and thought, "really? Is that really the best that I could have dealt with that? Am I really that pathetic?" and have been so thoroughly unimpressed with myself. I guess I was blessed (don't know if that's the right word) to have some of the trials come back around, and that time I determined to do better with my attitude and was able to feel so much better about the situation during AND afterward.

Way to see this for what it is - a trial and an earthly experience that seems like eternity, but in the whole scheme of things isn't. I guess I'm trying to also convey that I think you're amazing.

Suzette said...

I think you're doing great.

Suzette said...

I think you're doing great.

Lanette said...

I'm "amening" what Amy and Suzette said, because they said it all...twice.

Lanette said...

I'm "amening" what Amy and Suzette said, because they said it all...twice:). Love you. Hope I made you laugh.