I have had this news for so many days and I, Shelley-share-all, haven't been able to find the words or the courage to face the facts. All of the excruciating pain I had before I started taking the menopause shots has come back. I went back to the doctor and we were talking surgery.
My doctor wanted to run some tests first to see what was going on. I went and had a CT scan and few hours later a nurse called and said that I needed to come in for an ultrasound the next day >que scary music!< Finally when I got back in the room they said they had found a mass growing in my lower left abdomen. I thought "Oh, this is just great, maybe in the next room over there is a firing squad, and I'll take that room please!"
Long story short...the ultrasound showed my ovary is swollen, I have a large cyst on it and I have a small cyst like tumor growing inside the cyst, but it's not cancer. I go back on Monday and I am assuming we will set the surgery date. Whether or not a hysterectomy will be a part of it, I'm not sure yet.
P.S. For your own safety, advising me to "just get a hysterectomy and get it over with" is not in your best interest. I know for those who already have children or those who's every dream of a happy and fulfilling future doesn't involves having children, may not understand. But, I am the exact opposite and wouldn't have suffered so long and been through so much if every fiber of my being didn't ache to have my own child grow inside of me. Oh, I also know all about adoption.... :0) Not that I am sensitive about this topic or anything... One a lighter note I just saw a lady on tv with a beard. See I still have a sense of humor :o)
2 comments:
Oh Shelley, I am so sorry. That is really terrible news. If only every one felt the same way you do about being a mother - I have no doubt that you will be a very outstanding one someday.
Dearest Shelley,
I am not sure why the Lord pushes us in the areas that seem to be so tender for us. It just makes us think, "there is no way I can go forward in life without this in my life." I know that the Lord knows best, but I am still having a hard time being pleasant and accepting of everything. People do not understand the feelings of our tenders hearts, and I find it so difficult to be patient with them times. So my advice to you, is don't feel you have to apologize and explain your situation to everyone, because sadly not everyone will understand. My heart aches greatly for this news for you. I am praying that there will be a glimmer of hope to save all that's possible for you to be blessed with the righteous desire of your heart.
Much Love to you Shelley, =)Tanya
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