My Sweet Partner

My activity day partner is such a sweet friend of mine. I was telling her about my insomnia and how I hadn't slept for a day or two. She said to me "I think I might have your answer." She was very excited and went upstairs. She came down saying I might think she was crazy, but that I should at least give it a try. This is what she gave me..."Canine Lullabies"...I did think she was a little crazy. She has two dogs that are very...active... She saw this in Cal-Ranch and thought it might help calm them. That night she got her family together on her bed and they were listening to it and laughing and the all of the sudden her husband fell asleep. He was also having trouble sleeping... The next day she went back to Cal-Ranch and bought all (15) they had left (the price had gone down from $15.99 to .99 - go figure). So she thought it might have the same effect on me, at least it didn't put her dog to sleep and that is what made her think of me :0) I have to admit, I haven't listened to it yet, but I think the closer I get to surgery I may have to try it!

Pray, He is there.

"Be strong and of good courage:

be not afraid.

Neither be thou dismayed:

for the Lord thy God is with thee

whithersoever thou goest."

Joshua 1:9

I hope that includes the operating room! I went to the doctor this morning and the news was not good. I am terrified and very humbled. I did know that I had a cyst with a benign tumor inside, or at least that is what the ultrasound tech told me....

The doctor said that the fluid in the cyst is pre-cancerous because of the type of tumor that is in it and it has to be removed. But the even scarier part is that when he is removing it if he knicks it the fluid will leak out and the cancerous cells will spill into my entire abdomen. That would be VERY bad. So he will try to cut around it but he said it is very rare to save the ovary in this situation.

If he does have to take the ovary out then he will do a complete hysterectomy, scrape out all the scar tissue and burn off any endometriosis that might be left. Sounds lovely doesn't it?

This is the news I have been terrified to hear and adding all of the cancer stuff makes it even more terrifying! The surgery is scheduled for April 19th. I am a little angry that i have to wait that long, but with how complicated the surgery is there has to be 2 specialists in the OR instead of one. If there is a cancellation I could get in earlier so lets all hope for someone to get cold feet!

Heavy heart

I have had this news for so many days and I, Shelley-share-all, haven't been able to find the words or the courage to face the facts. All of the excruciating pain I had before I started taking the menopause shots has come back. I went back to the doctor and we were talking surgery.

My doctor wanted to run some tests first to see what was going on. I went and had a CT scan and few hours later a nurse called and said that I needed to come in for an ultrasound the next day >que scary music!< Finally when I got back in the room they said they had found a mass growing in my lower left abdomen. I thought "Oh, this is just great, maybe in the next room over there is a firing squad, and I'll take that room please!"

Long story short...the ultrasound showed my ovary is swollen, I have a large cyst on it and I have a small cyst like tumor growing inside the cyst, but it's not cancer. I go back on Monday and I am assuming we will set the surgery date. Whether or not a hysterectomy will be a part of it, I'm not sure yet.

P.S. For your own safety, advising me to "just get a hysterectomy and get it over with" is not in your best interest. I know for those who already have children or those who's every dream of a happy and fulfilling future doesn't involves having children, may not understand. But, I am the exact opposite and wouldn't have suffered so long and been through so much if every fiber of my being didn't ache to have my own child grow inside of me. Oh, I also know all about adoption.... :0) Not that I am sensitive about this topic or anything... One a lighter note I just saw a lady on tv with a beard. See I still have a sense of humor :o)

Things you didn't know!

So I decided a post like this one is really not about confessions, it is more about me telling everyone about things you didn't know. Let's begin.

1. When I was in first grade I was convinced that I had learned to tie my shoes in Spanish. No one believed me, but to this day I know I was tying them different than the normal way. I just have no way to prove it!

2. The most beautiful language in the world, and the one I wish I understood better is Sign Language. I had clients who had no way of communication except for a few signs, which made me what to learn. I took 2 semesters in college but but forgotten a lot of it. I would love to relearn and become fluent!

3. When I was in high school one of my friends and I had a favorite after school snack. We loved to melt/soften a tootsie roll on top of a tortilla chip. It's that whole sweet and salty thing. I think I'm going to have to try that again.

4. In our car and truck we have handicapped signs. My mom has to use a cane to walk most of the time and so we have them for her. I have to admit that there have been a few...ummmm... many times when I've parked in those coveted spots, sometimes when my fibromyalgia is bad, and sometimes when I feel just fine. If I am feeling ok I feel like I have to fake a limp or some other ailment because I feel guilty. So if you ever see me limping into walmart, don't blow my cover!

5. Hi, my name is Shelley and I am an addict! Not your regular coke, dope, meth or alcoholic (did I get those names right) I am completely addicted to lipstick!!! The excitement of thinking about the purchase, the thrill of the hunt, the anticipation of the first application...exciting isn't it! An intervention may be in my future.

6. Sometimes when I'm shopping, on the treadmill, really anytime I have time to think to myself I either get a huge smile on my face, or I burst out laughing. Why you might ask? Because I think of the most hilarious things in my head! I make up funny situations, think of funny things that could happen to people (I said funny, not mean) or I make up jokes. Now this is a little embarrassing. If you ever see me all alone laughing hysterically maybe I just told myself a joke :D

Aren't you so glad you know more of my secrets and quirks? Stay tuned, because believe it or not, I still have more to come! Now it's your turn! What's quirky about you?

Bumper cars!

I didn't even know that bumper cars existed any more,

except at Lagoon, and I was really shocked

to find out that there were some in IF.

These are my action shots!

Cute Ellie was ready for a big bang!

Hailey was thinking pretty hard as to who she
would ram next.

Cambria just couldn't stop laughing.

I think Sam was in shock.

Ashlyn had fun hitting everyone in sight.

This was such a good day. I feel very blessed for the
time I get to spend with them. Their parents

have taught them well. My nieces and nephews are so

well behaved and polite, they are one of

the biggest joys in my life.

Did I mention that I LOVE THEM!!

Gee ball

Here we have it, the future of Gee basketball.

Jeff's girls definitely have skill!

Cambria guarding

and taking that all important foul shot!

Hailey isn't quite as serious.

She tends to go with the flow

Jeff coaches Cambria, and was doing the scoring

this day for Hailey's team. He is a very dedicated dad!

It was a high scoring game!

Both of the games were so much fun to watch.

Weekend fun!

Now this is what I call a weekend of fun!

My cousin Kelli is an amazing hair stylist

and she specialized in color. Being the very sweet person

she is, she offered to do everyones hair (no charge) and I

gladly accepted!! Kelli assured that my hair would look like

it had been kissed by the sun...but at first I thought she was going

for the skunk look, strait down the middle!

It turned out beautiful and I love it, I have been kissed!

Kelli, my aunt Colene and my uncle Ron came down for the blessing

of their niece/granddaughter Claire Joyce Graham.

Claire's parents, Annie and Garth, are going

to BYU-I and while they have been here they have felt more

like a brother an sister to me than a cousin and her husband.

The day after the blessing those still around got together and had dinner and

played games. My mom is in the pink, then it's Garth and Annie,
Colene and Ron, me (just got out of the hospital 2 day's before and I was

still SO sick) and then there were Garth's parents. We had so much fun,

and what a group of amazing people!

Books for dummies...

I am embarrassed to say that I have had my laptop for about 9 months and I still can't figure it all out. So yes I bought the book Windows 7 for dummies. I have so many pictures to post but they won't download. There will be an explosion of pictures when I figure it out. Just give me another oh, 9 months :0)

Confessions: Do you really know me??

Do you ever wonder if people would really like you if they knew some of your weird, strange or quirky secrets?? I know that "true" friends always over look the weird, strange or quirky, so cheers to true friends.

Confessions:

~I am scared to buy bananas. On National Geographic they said that giant jungle spiders get into banana boxes that are shipped into the US and when you innocently try to pick up a bunch you could die a painful death from one bite of this 8 legged monster. I hate spiders!!

~I religiously watch survival shows because I am completely petrified I am going to get into a freak accident and get eaten by a bear, attacked by a shark, kidnapped at gunpoint, locked in a trunk, lost in the desert, in a plane crash, lost at sea, get stranded on a glacier, you get the picture. I want to be prepared because with my luck "freak accidents" are definitely in my future!

~When I am going to cry, just before the tears come, I get a sharp stabbing pain in my left nostril, go figure.

~After 32 years of doctor appointments and hospital stays I still get extremely nervous and have heart palpitations waiting for the doctor walk into the room, and I still cry every time I find out I have to go to the hospital. But, then I think about visitors (and gifts) and I get over it pretty quick :0).

~What makes me most happy other than being with family, extended family and friends? Laughing. Finding humor in how chaotic, stressful, crazy and unbelievable life can be. This doesn't always happen, but at least once a day I have to laugh at how much life can suck at times.

~Most embarrassing moment? Surprisingly NOT the plunger story, and that is all I'm going to say!

~I'm a reality show junkie (don't judge me)! I love watching the food network (learning cooking/baking secrets), HGTV (learning how to decorate) and lots of others shows I will never admit too :0)

~Most common dream? Parking my car somewhere and never being able to find it again and going on an amazing vacation but forgetting to pack!

I think I've confessed enough for one day, but i am sure there will be more in the future!

Great news

I know that this won't sound as cool as to other people as it does to me, but today is the first day I feel good in probably a month. I am actually going to do my hair today and maybe put on a little lipstick to bring out my wild self (I hope it doesn't set off an asthma attack)! So, to celebrate, I'm going to WAL-MART >collective aaahhh<. I may even go to Deseret Book, even though that is a very dangerous place for people who are "shopping challenged".

And...that's not all, I am proud to announce that after several months I have pretty much learned to use my (relatively) new camera. Now this means I can resume my love of photography. Most of you know this because I say it all the time, but I did win a high school photography contest.

The End